Pre-Game: The View from Dolores Park.

This morning, the fog sits thick and damp over the Mission. Like the mood of the dog people of Dolores Park, who woke up to the news Andre Iguodala might not (as in probably won’t) be playing tonight.

“Who replaces Iguodala?”

“Kevon Looney.”

“What if he gets into foul trouble?

Silence. The cloud’s so low, it covers the skirts of Twin Peaks.

“Swaggy P.”

How weird? Even with four All-Stars, the Dubs’ hopes for an NBA championship may rest on the normally unreliable shoulders of a backup to a backup, 10-year vet Nick Young. And his bizarre alter ego, Swaggy P.

The view from Dolores Park?

Cold. Damp. Dark.

Post-Game: Lexington Street.

Colder. Damper. Darker.

I can’t bear to write the first draft of this particular history. Let somebody else do it. Someone who gets paid.

Who would read it? Who wants to relive a nightmare? Or live it in the first place?

Walking home, as the fourth quarter — the surreal fourth quarter — unwinds in my mind, I see my dog, Tucho.

One night a couple weeks ago I came home and found him acting strangely. Wobbly and unsure of himself, he had a vacant stare. He was acting more disoriented than hurt. A stroke?

No. He had gotten into a box of coffee beans dipped in chocolate and infused with THC. Somewhat confused but passive, he didn’t make a fuss when I took him to the hospital.

“Really? The Dog Emergency Hospital? Whatever.”

As I watched the Warriors’ epic implosion tonight, they looked as out of sync, out of joint, out of character, out of this world as a dog tripping out on THC.

Tucho is fine. But he was, in the words of the vet, “pretty fucked up.”  That’s how I feel about the Dubs.

At home, with four All-Stars and Swaggy P. on the court, how is it possible they scored 12, only 12, a surreal 12 points, in the entire fourth quarter!? How is that possible!?

There can only be one explanation:

The Russians slipped LSD into the Dubs’ sneakers.

It feels like Game 7 in 2016. Remember what came next? Donald Trump.

We go from fog to bog.

Next game: Thursday at 6. In Houston.


Game three: Stephs gonna Steph, May 20, 2018

Game two: Day of the Dead, May 17, 2018

Game oneDubs roll Rock Heads, May 15, 2018

Warrior Fever Strikes the Mission, A guide for the Perplexed, May 14, 2018

Tuesday evening when there was still hope.

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