Nervous energy, slow drama and nothing much better to do turned Wednesday night’s scene on Valencia street into a block of black humor.
“Jump, already!” said a man as he walked past the police outpost on the corner of Valencia and 16th streets last night around 10:30pm. It was the only spot from which you could still see the man who’d been threatening to jump from the roof of the four-story Crown Hotel for the past five hours.
But more than five hours into the drama, nobody seemed to care anymore.
That’s what happens when police cars, yellow tape and crowds promise excitement, but deliver a long wait. As the night wore on, people grew even less sympathetic. But humor is also a crowd’s way of coping with anxiety.
“Dude’s gotta be hungry,” joked one witness. “I bet he has to pee.”
“Oh my god, I hope he’s okay!” said one woman, but most of the remarks from those who came to stare up at the man perched at the edge, were less sympathetic.
Every time the light changed, a new crowd of about 15 to 20 people came by. If anyone tried to stay longer than 30 seconds, the police would shoo them away. A diehard crowd of about 10 would move, but return five minutes later.
There was also a static crowd of about 20 people posted by a bus stop across the street where the police left them alone.
“Let the mother jump,” said a man on his way from one bar to another. “That’s what I call population control.”
Bar-hoppers, many of whom were angry they couldn’t stop for a slice at Arinell Pizza, stood in the street and gawked at the spectacle.
“No pizza tonight folks,” barked a cop at least every five minutes. “All the businesses on this block are closed.”
“That’s $#%$ed up,” said a woman. “Look what this guy’s doing to all the shops. How are they supposed to make money tonight?”
The cops didn’t know and they didn’t care. It was getting colder by the minute and two of their cars had already died from prolonged use of heaters and light.
As midnight approached, it seemed the night would never end.
But then it did.
At 12:06 a.m., police escorted the non-jumper out the front door of the building and into a van headed to San Francisco General Hospital.
“Perfect timing!” said a police officer. “My shift’s over in five minutes. What a guy.”
I agree with Amanda. I wonder how many of those people have stood on that edge themselves. It sucks. Let me tell you it is an absolutely horrible place to stand. And contrary to popular belief, someone that is that deeply sad cannot just “snap out of it” just as someone with an addiction cannot just stop without proper support.
Take those drunk frat-boy jerks who want a slice of pizza, including that dumb young woman who complained that the businesses would suffer, and throw THEM ALL OFF a five-story building, and let’s see who has compassion for them?
Just what Valencia Street needs, more rowdy, spoiled drunk, soon-to-be yuppies. God help us all!
I guarantee not one person mentioned in this story has been touched by suicide. I absolutely guarantee it. I hope they never have to go through that. Then getting a slice of pizza will mean nothing to them.