Mean Streets, It’s Personal,   tales of crime or adventures from neighbors who experience them.  Send your tales to info@missionlocal.com

Just off the plane from Japan. Cecilia and I headed down to get a cup of Philz’s strongest and were greeted… so to speak. by our neighborhood violent inebriate.  “You stole my picture”… he shouted.   “You took my money.”

 Then he tried to focus of CC and said “Hey are you a lesbian or something?” We avoided eye contact and picked up the pace and outdistanced him around George’s Liquor.  I think he stopped to smell the roses… four roses.  We were waiting for our coffee at Philz and who appeared at the door? Sure enough it was our insult pitching neighbor.  He shot in and repeated his mantra… “You stole my…”

Then, as practiced many times, the entire staff came around from behind the counter.  A woman in the lead said, “I’m the manager here and I am going to have to ask you to leave”  Our buddy mumbled some unintelligible lines and was gradually herded to the door.  Just outside he shouted, “Don’t touch me.” One of Philz team said, “I’m not touching you.”

 The inebriated provocateur took a swing and landed a glancing blow on one of the baristas and then found himself on the ground.  Sprawled on the ground he was restrained by everyone including me.  He had been injured in the fall and was bleeding.  Several people called called 911.  As he tried to struggle free a woman who was holding one arm said, “Look give it up I am way stronger than you.”  She was proven right.  Police arrived and our pal got a ride.  He was out of custody in an hour or so.

Then at noon today we were walking over to Old Jerusalem for lunch and I spied a young large hipster-looking guy walking down the street holding his cell phone out in front of his face.  He was speaking very loudly as if he were alone in the world,  “Whoa dude, come on are you telling me you never peed on anyone…..”

I was reminded how happy I was to be home.

Other Mean Streets: 

“I Gave You Your Wallet, What More do You Want?”