People We Meet: Anna So can’t stop, won’t stop opening new restaurants

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When Anna So came to San Francisco from Thailand in 1986, she didn’t bring much.

What she did have, though, turned out to be essential: She knew how to cook. 

She recalled her 40-year cooking journey during a recent rainy Wednesday afternoon lunch break at Zabb Thai Cuisine, at 4440 Mission St., on the corner of Francis Street. She had just made an eggplant and basil stir-fry for herself.  

When she arrived in San Francisco’s Sunset District, she threw herself into every restaurant job she could find: An Italian bistro at Irving Street and 9th Avenue, a Japanese spot on Geary Boulevard, and even restaurants as far away as San Bruno and Foster City. Wherever she landed, she worked hard. 

“You’re not gonna last long if you keep going like this,” So remembers co-workers at one restaurant in Oakland saying. But they were wrong. 

At that Oakland restaurant, she cooked Thai flavors while her two co-chefs made Chinese dishes. Her Thai dishes were so good that customers frequently asked for them, leaving the other two chefs with little work. 

In 1995, So opened her own Thai restaurant: Yamo, at 3406 18th St. at Mission Street. The streets were rougher than they are now, and So remembers screaming at customers — and outsiders — who were causing trouble.

“I will fight if I need to,” she said. 

But beneath that toughness was a soft spot. 

One day, when prepping a regular takeout order for a group of mechanical workers at Bank of America’s old downtown building, So noticed something unusual: The BBQ chicken order for John was missing. 

When Klaus, one of the workers, came to pick up the order, he told her that John was too swamped to order. So made him mango sticky rice and had Klaus deliver it to John’s car. When John got off work at 2 a.m., he found the dessert waiting for him on the dashboard of his car.

For John, it was love at first bite, said So.

He’d been praying to God for a compatible partner. As a child, he’d always wanted a mango tree — his favorite fruit — but his family had planted an orange tree instead. This mango sticky rice felt like a sign. Also: Klaus had already introduced him to So, but he never made a move because he was “too shy.”

“It took him six months to ask me out!” So said with a laugh.

They were together for 22 years before John died of lung disease in 2019. He’d never smoked and was always healthy.

“There was not a day I don’t miss him,” So said quietly. “I cried every day for the first three years.” 

They traveled often — to Thailand twice a year, and across 25 states in their Toyota. 

So hasn’t taken a vacation since. “It’s not fun to travel by yourself,” she said. 

Even before her husband died, So sold Yamo, but kept cooking. She helped her friend open a restaurant at a motel near Yosemite, serving American dishes alongside Thai curries.

She spent two years in Oklahoma, helping her younger sister set up a Thai restaurant in Edmond, a suburb 15 miles north of downtown Oklahoma City.

But all along, she kept her place in the Excelsior, where she has lived since 1999. 

As we talked, she waved to neighbors passing by, and periodically dashed out to say hello in person. She’s watched the neighborhood grow safer, with more Asian immigrants and young families. 

Nineties and ‘80s pop played in the background — Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Achy Breaky Heart” and Modern Talking’s “Cheri, Cheri Lady.”

“I love music,” So said. Her favorite thing, outside of work, is karaoke night at the Excelsior branch library.  Her standards include “Wind Beneath My Wings,” “One Moment in Time,” and “Put Your Head on My Shoulder.”

Now, she’s thinking about what might come next. Some friends have moved to Las Vegas, and tell her it’s nice there. Maybe it’s time for a new chapter. 

“It’s hot, just like Thailand,” So said. “And it’s near a big airport.”