When Hillary Ronen sat down with Mission Local in early December, she said she had left it all on the table fighting for her constituents. On Wednesday night at her farewell roasting at El Rio, it was no different, as she delivered one last performance as outgoing District 9 supervisor.
“I feel like you can’t get through a job this tough if you don’t have a good sense of humor,” she said.
The jokes were pointed and, at times, raunchy. In some moments, the event appeared as much a therapy session as a comedy set.
The cast? District 7 Supervisor Myrna Melgar, former District 9 BART board member and supervisor Bevan Dufty, District 8 Supervisor and new Board President Rafael Mandelman, District 10 Supervisor Shamann Walton, former District 5 supervisor Dean Preston, Ronen’s husband and lead immigration attorney at the Public Defender’s Office Francisco Ugarte, and Ronen herself.
“It’s so sad that Dean is leaving the board. It’s really hit us all hard. And he’s going to be unemployed,” said Ronen of Preston. “But don’t worry, Dean. Being unemployed with an inheritance is apparently all it takes to become mayor of San Francisco.”
The crowd of about 100 people erupted in laughter.
Preston, who had performed a few minutes earlier, had unexpectedly set the bar pretty high.
After confessing to the audience that he’d had reservations about the roast, this being his first one, he said he’s “generally not a fan of political jokes.”
“But they’re hard to avoid these days,” he continued. “One just got sworn in yesterday for my district” — a reference to Bilal Mahmood, who ousted Preston from his post.
“Who the fuck knew that Dean was so goddam funny?” said Ronen later on.
The event started at 7 p.m. with politicos, legislative aides, department heads, and former elected officials filling the back room of the popular Mission bar, sharing drinks and mingling before performers took the stage closer to 8 p.m.
Faces in the crowd included outgoing Board President Aaron Peskin, former supervisor David Campos, former Peskin chief of staff Sunny Angulo, former Ronen aide Santiago Lerma, former supervisor Safaí, former District 11 supervisor candidate Ernest Jones, and newly minted District 9 supervisor Jackie Fielder.
“It’s so sad that Dean is leaving the board. It’s really hit us all hard. And he’s going to be unemployed. But don’t worry, Dean. Being unemployed with an inheritance is apparently all it takes to become mayor of San Francisco.”
Hillary Ronen
The roast was hosted by Sheila Chung Hagen, Ronen’s erstwhile legislative aide, who warmed up the crowd with jokes well-tailored to each of the participants she introduced.
“Our community daddy who proves that politics and passion really do go hand in hand,” Chung Hagen said, introducing Dufty. “Bevan’s dedication to public service is unmatched both on and off the clock. Let’s just say, he’s been around the block more times than a BART train during peak hours.”
Following the latter’s introduction, Dufty immediately took the stage and told the crowd he had called adult protective services on Chung Hagen.
“Charge her with elder abuse. I’m 70. … It’s, like, the only fucking benefit that I have,” he said as the crowd once again erupted in laughter.
No one laughed throughout the night as much as Ronen, especially when Melgar, a close friend as the former supervisor called her, joked about Ronen’s high school days.
“This Robin Hood thing started in high school, when she stole lingerie. She was caught shoplifting lingerie in high school,” Melgar said, to the excitement and laughter of the crowd. “But it helps, right? Because it’s stealing from the rich, Victoria’s Secret, and giving to the needy high school girls who need it.”
Newly elected Board of Supervisors President Mandelman, in attendance, was the target of many jokes from some of his colleagues. They called him out for not being progressive enough, especially after Ronen endorsed him in his run for the board.
Mandelman, for his part, was a good sport the whole night and, at one point, even put on a T-shirt that read “progressive.”
“I remember the night you were elected,” Ugarte told Mandelman. “Hillary fought so hard, she was like, ‘We’re taking City Hall back from the ruling class.’ It was an awesome feeling. And that feeling lasted at least a week, maybe a night.”
Ugarte spoke to the difficulties of being the spouse of a politician, and celebrated his wife ending her tenure at City Hall.
“Have you seen her recently? Last two weeks, last month. She’s really happy. She’s glowing,” added Ugarte. “That’s because she doesn’t have to work with you motherfuckers anymore.”
The love for Ronen continued from colleagues who described her as an advocate for her district who fought hard to secure large amounts of resources from the city.
At the end of her speech, Melgar called her friend “the best fucking District 9 supervisor ever.”
The night concluded with legislators who have worked throughout the years with Ronen on stage for one last round of applause for the former supervisor.
Ronen, for her part, celebrated the night and took all the love in.
“It makes me feel like a million bucks. I gave my whole heart and soul to this job, and to see the love come back … it’s a dream come true.”
Best zingers of the night:
- “It has been my great pleasure to work with you and to also be your friend, but now I have to talk about your assets, areas of growth we share, you know, lack of dick. That’s why you didn’t become president of the Board of Supervisors. Me too, me too. It helps. It helps if you have that. The bro code is strong.” —Myrna Melgar
- “I used to think white men controlled everything in this city. I thought they secretly met and made decisions. But I was wrong. I mean, just look at Rafi … He’s a white man who can’t order a sandwich without asking London Breed for permission.” —Hillary Ronen
- “I want to thank you, Dean, for always fighting for the little guy, for the renters in the city. I mean, somebody has to stand up to these greedy multi-millionaires and their mansions high on the hill. Who better to do that than one of their neighbors?” —Hillary Ronen
- “Supervisor Shamann Walton is in the house. He showed up because we told him the Niners were playing a special game, and that Matt Haney would be rolling up in his limo to pick him up at eight to go to a pre-game party at Hooters. Now, don’t worry, President [Mandelman]. Shamann should still make Tuesday’s board meeting. It’s a local Hooters.” —Sheila Chung Hagen
- “When I did the CAREN Act, she thought it was about her. But I was like ‘No, Hillary, you’re really a Latina, unless Bernal Heights calls.” —Shamann Walton
This whole thing is gross on so many levels. These people are so delusional and high on their own BS.
There’s a consequence to living under a one-party political machine. Eventually you get stuck with extremely unqualified leaders who have zero incentive to improve the lives of their constituents. They become obsessed with political theatre and patronage to the machine.
When you get a real crisis like the Pandemic or the aftermath on our streets, that’s when people start to wake up.
She was an utter failure, a no show, she made the Mission miserable; she also use tax payers money to go on a trip to check how they teach maths in Japan and probably went sightseeing and eating on our dimes.Good ridance.
Better to travel to Japan on SF’s dime than to Israel on JCRC’s dime, which plenty have. Ronen proved fearless when it came to Gaza.
‘We’re taking City Hall back from the ruling class.’
Funniest line of the night.
Ronen left it all on the table for sure, and her opponents took the pot on every hand.
San Francisco, the city of delusional ‘progressives’ every bit as warped as Scientologists. Volcanos full of vagrants and drug addicts.
A gathering of deplorables.
Hah Hah Hah…. fun times. And we here in the mission are left to deal with dirty, dangerous BART stations. Continuous illegal vending of stolen merch along Mission Street, Open air drug use/sales in the vicinity of our elementary schools. Oh yeah piles of trash and excrement in far too many places to count. She is/was a sham. wholly unprepared to serve as district 9 supervisor. Good riddance… enjoy Spain!
When one roaster went to hard, Walton sprung from his seat, “No Performative Bullshit! We Out Here Everyday For You Folks!”
Melgar was reportedly upset her +1 was turned away at the door, but Garry took it in stride.
When asked of her proudest achievement as supervisor, Ronen beamed, “denying poor immigrants discounted shampoo.”
I think the discount is not the notable attribute about the shampoo you’re referring to.