The side of a red and grey MUNI bus with one wheel and he bottom of some windows showing. Not the 22-Fillmore
Photo by Lydia Chávez

I’m on the 22-Fillmore, headed back to the Mission from Bay Street, sitting in a 4-seat row running lengthwise across from the back door. I sit at one end of the row. An older white woman sits two seats away.

Somewhere before Fell Street, a Black man boards through the back door. He is older, and wears a shabby jacket and pants, a dark baseball cap. He’s hunched over, carrying a cardboard box. Although I’m reading a novel, I look up and notice the man because he’s screaming. “DON’T TOUCH ME! FUCK YOU. DON’T TELL ME I’M NO GOOD. I’M AS GOOD AS YOU.” 

He takes a seat one down from me, next to the white woman, who is somewhere in her 60s. “FUCK YOU!” he screams to no one in particular. I try to ignore him, and don’t make eye contact. Like the passengers across from us, I keep my head down and focused on my phone. I expect another outburst, then hear a murmuring.

I turn. The woman who sits next to the screamer is talking to him. I can’t make out the words, but the sound is soothing. She doesn’t look at him, but I know she’s talking to him. Then I hear her ask, “What’s in the box”? “Can I see?” she asks.

There is a pause. “Oh, a cake, a birthday cake,” she says. “Whose birthday?”

The screamer has calmed down and he’s looking at the cake in the box.

“Mine,” he says not looking at her.

“I just bought it, gonna take it home. Can’t wait to cut into it.”

She looks at him and sings, in the same low, calm, ethereal voice that only the man and I can hear, a long version of “Happy Birthday.” When she finishes, he reaches for her hand and they hold hands for a minute. Then she gets off the 22-Fillmore. I don’t remember much about her except she was wearing a Free Julian Assange button on a worn Levi jacket. When I get off, I wish the man a happy birthday. He nods and smiles.

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Mark Rabine has lived in the Mission for over 40 years. "What a long strange trip it's been." He has maintained our Covid tracker through most of the pandemic, taking some breaks with his search for the Mission's best fried-chicken sandwich and now its best noodles. When the Warriors make the playoffs, he writes up his take on the games.

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27 Comments

  1. I wish more people would ride MUNI! It becomes more pleasant the more pleasant people ride it. 🙂

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  2. That is why I love taking muni. For the humanity of it all. (And John Waters loves muni for the same reason)
    Love this story

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  3. What a beautiful piece. It’s nice to take a break from all the anti police pieces on mission local once in a while.

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    1. This is what I think of as a San Francisco Story. I ride Muni and BART a lot and I see and hear so many amazing things going on in this town. If people “unplugged” and looked around, they’d see it too.

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  4. Mark, thank you for sharing this story. Every day, we have to be reminded that people are intrinsically good. Recently, my church went on a “night walk” with the SF Night Ministry. We met and got to know (a little bit) some of the people who live on the street in the TL. It was transformative. The SF Night Ministry approach was all about exactly what the woman on the 22 modeled: go slowly, very slowly, ask an open-ended question, honor the humanity in whoever you meet and keep your tone soft and drawn-out (slow). There’s so much free-floating aggression in the world. We have to seize every opportunity to introduce peace. Or to be inspired by reading about how someone else made peace. Keep these stories coming, please. This is healing work you’ve done!

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  5. Wow. This jewel of a story stirred my heart. Thank you for writing it Mark Rabine. And thank you for publishing Mission Local. In a world of senseless cruelty where fear and loathing are stoked to keep us fractured from one another…….be kind.

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  6. I really appreciate this story. I have had so many wild bus and BART moments and it’s really important to hear about to moments of connection and caring for each other that can happen in shared spaces.

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  7. Happy Birthday man with the cake. … Yes, you are just a good as me.
    And thank you for reminding all of us.

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  8. Greetings from Cincinnati! 🖤🧡 Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. It’s so easy to quickly judge someone. To be honest, I tend to automatically think the worst in situations like this. I’m working on being more understanding & giving people the benefit of the doubt. This woman is truly an inspiration. Thank you for the reminder ❤️

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  9. Oh. Awww. Wow. That makes me so happy. I love that this happened and that she acknowledged his humanity instead of judging him by his outbursts. Wow. Thank you for this story. Touches my heart.

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  10. Happy Birthday is right.
    Great little slice of life story with a good headline. That lady is either trained to work with disturbed persons or some kind of lay saint: Maybe both. Thanks for sharing

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  11. This was such a beautiful story. It just goes to show you. A kind word, A Smile of compassion, goes a long way. You never know what a person is going through. All this man wanted, was to know someone cared enough to wish him a Happy birthday. It’s sad to be along and think no one cares for you.

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  12. I love these slice of SF life stories. Thank you. I love this city.

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  13. I would guess that lady quickly recognized what nobody else on the bus did: the gentleman whose birthday it was has Tourette’s Syndrome and is perfectly harmless.

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    1. this doesn’t really sound like a tourette’s outburst, but certainly some sort of neurological distress. so glad that this man’s humanity was uncovered.

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      1. Many years ago I moved into an apartment and there was a photo on the fridge, taken from our unit window, of a man from the block who my new roommate said was to be avoided. To make a long story short, that man had Tourette’s and was about the nicest guy in the world, and my roommate turned out to be the wicked witch of the west.

        The man has since passed away, but I clearly haven’t forgotten him. After all, I’ve got this great photo…

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  14. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾!!!
    Love is the answer !!!💖

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  15. Why is the race of the humans involved in this “story” necessary or important to mention?Interesting how the race of the “screamer” was not only mentioned but capitalized “B”lack..afraid readers would miss that Mark? while “w”hite woman is not.

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