We at Mission Loc@l had read about Mission Police Captain Greg Corrales’ creative writing abilities, but his December newsletter is the most interesting one yet.
The self-described ace reporter’s recap of Christmas day is particularly amusing. The last item is my favorite.
Enjoy:
“We had hoped that it would not be necessary to arrest anyone on Christmas, but there were several miscreants out there that gave us no choice in the matter.
Miscreant #1 – 3:23 AM Mariposa & Utah 111028953
While investigating reports of a man “casing” vehicles, Officers Cota & Wilgus discovered an auto burglar in flagrante delicto. When the brazen brigand was asked why he was in the victim’s auto, he replied, “The door was unlocked.”
Miscreant #2 – 7:13 AM 20th & S. Van Ness 111029105
While investigating a possible child abuse case, Officers Akmese & Cruz encountered a suspicious scoundrel skulking sinisterly. Further investigation revealed that he was a fugitive from justice.
Miscreants #3 & 4 – 11:13 AM 13th & Mission 111030607
Officer Fischer encountered a furtive felon and his furtive floozy skulking sullenly. Further investigation revealed that they were both fugitives from justice.
Miscreant #5 – 1:28 PM 23rd & San Bruno 111029371
Officers McDonald, Gassen, & Lattig sought, located, and apprehended a flagitious fugitive parolee, and assured that he would be spending the new year with his homies in state prison.”
