En Español.

In celebration of Valentine’s Day — perhaps the only holiday in human history dedicated to an emotion — we’re going to be gathering advice from Mission denizens about love’s buoyant and treacherous waters. This is the first in a series.

500 Club, 2:40 p.m.

Patrick: You’re talking to the right person about this, actually. I’ve written a lot of songs about love. What were they called? “Love is the Wrong Way” — that was the first. Johnny Cash does it better than I do.

Rob: The best advice I ever got about love was to never fall in love. I never followed it, of course. I never listen to my friends.

Patrick: I used to tell people not to fall in love with me, because I’d just get mad and run off or something. You’re always in love with the one who doesn’t love you, or at least I am. I’m still in love with Melinda. That was some 20 or 30 years ago. What’s the craziest thing I ever did for love? I got married. That’s fuckin’ crazy.

Rob: Yeah, I got drunk, we drove to Reno, we drove for hours. We got married, I got her initials tattooed on my finger. I’ve been picking it off ever since. See that? It’s a “P.” Yeah, it’s almost off of there.

Shawn: [just returned from a smoke] The craziest thing I’ve ever done for love? I started sleeping in my pants, because I moved into an SRO.

Rob: He was with his girlfriend. He cheated on her, and so she left him. And he moved into an SRO. He was living with his dad.

Shawn: Yeah, we were sleeping in the same bed. It was dirty, it was nasty. So I had to keep my pants on.

Rob: He had to hit rock bottom to realize what he had was good. All he had to do was show a little bit of effort. Now they’re living together in San Francisco.

Shawn: It was about being accountable. It was just humbling.

Rob: Who knows what the difference is between love and lust, anyway? I can’t tell them apart.

ML: So you’ve never been in love?

Rob: Oh, I know for sure I’ve been in love. When you can’t really function without that person — that’s how you know.