Faux fight

One: The Fates

Tonight the Giants open a three game series against their ancient rivals, the Los Angeles Dodgers at Mission Creek. After their first highly successful road trip of the season, the Giants are a half game out of first place in the National League’s Western Division.

Good news, yes, but even before the Giants crushed San Diego on Sunday, there was already a cloud: Mission heart-throb Andres Torres had emergency surgery to remove his appendix, effectively removing him from the Giants for the rest of the regular season (18 games). The Giants have not had a lead-off hitter with the speed, power and patience of Torres for many years. Nor have the Giants had someone playing centerfield who could cover as much land and make the brilliant catches Torres makes routinely.

Speculation has run rampant: how can the Giants’ manager Bruce Bochy replace his one irreplaceable player.

Two: Schadenfreude

What could be better than the Giants reaching first place in the National League West? News of the imploding Los Angeles Dodgers. Not just on the field, where the Dodgers have faded from contention, but imploding where it really matters: financially. According to the Los Angeles Times, documents filed in the divorce case between Dodger owners Frank and Jamie McCourt indicate that Dodgers are now so heavily in debt ($433 million), it may affect how they pay their players and their ability to sign talent in upcoming years. Giant tormentor Manny Ramirez is already gone; manager Joe Torre and others are said to be on the way out the door.

Kick the Dodgers when they’re down? What fun!

If you’re not riveted by the pennant race, check the McCourt trial. It may become the most sensational divorce in California history, as the McCourts seem intent on setting a new standard for tawdriness and self-indulgence.

Three: Curveball of the Gods

Barry Zito takes the mound once more for the Giants. I would not want to pay him $18 million a year to pitch for my team, but watching him during batting practice, I admit he walks around the field like a god; so poised, so postured, so light for such a big guy. Zito tends toward the heavy and the difficult. Is this ease a good sign? For the first three innings, he looks as loose and as graceful as he did earlier in the afternoon. Even better, his signature curveball breaks sharply down, leaving batters swinging in the breeze.

For the Dodgers, Clayton Kershaw pitches. Despite some excellent pitching, Kershaw has only won one game since July 25, and the Giants beat him in August. He’s young, as Zito is old, but he’s hot tonight. He’s throwing mostly fastballs, not terribly fast, but it looks like he’s putting a lot of spin on the ball to get it to “hop” and to “sink,” causing Giant hitters to either miss completely or harmlessly ground out. At the end of three, Kershaw is throwing a perfect game; no Giant has hit the ball out of the infield.

Four: Foghorns

After the hot weather down south, the Giants should feel great coming back home to natural air conditioning. Unfortunately, that’s not been the pattern this year; it usually takes them a game to thaw out.

Beneath the fog that begins to fall over stadium’s southwest wall, Freddy Sanchez gets the Giants’ first hit. A surreal scene as the wet cloud hangs over the field, disappears, reappears before disappearing again like a ghost. The next batter, Aubrey Huff, hits into a double play.

Five: The Fire This Time

Sometimes the ballpark experience is like church. After the starting lineups were announced before the game, we learn the game will be dedicated to those who died, and those who survived, the horrific gas explosion in San Bruno. We stand in silence. From far right field, a single male voice sings out: “Beat LA.” Silence. From far left field, a single male voice responds. “Beat LA.”

Six: Walk Don’t Run

Not only unpredictable, baseball is a game that makes the weird commonplace. Zito hits the second guy he sees this inning, then proceeds to load the bases by walking two batters with two outs: a sin not as bad as PG&E, but bad. Casey Blake hits a sharp ground ball right back at Zito who ducks; the ball hits the top of the mound, bouncing over second base, but Juan Uribe, magnificent in the field in San Diego, moves quickly to his left to make the play. He fields the ball cleanly, then bobbles it, muffing a two-foot throw. One run scores.

Seven: Great Gatsby

Writing in Sports Illustrated, Lee Jenkins said Manny Ramirez’ antics served only an opening act for the McCourt divorce drama. Jamie McCourt, fired Dodger CEO who is said to have had an affair with her chauffeur, was previously awarded $225,000 in temporary spousal support and more than $400,000(!) in monthly mortgages. She claims that’s not enough; she needs at least a million a month.

Eight: Peace on Earth

By now I figure fans have consumed enough alcohol to banish the cold and begin the ritual Giant-Dodger bleacher brawl, so I head for the bleachers. “Nobody looks good in blue,” shouts a guy with his face painted orange and black.

That’s all? The meanest baseball rivalry on Earth has come down to impotent fashion taunting? I’ve never seen a more sedate scene. Wonder what they put in the beer.

Nine

The Dodgers manage just one hit, but they walk off with one run, unearned, and a win. After the game, Dodger players laugh it up on the field while Dodger fans hurl pre-adolescent insults at the rest of us. That’s OK. We know the Dodgers are really suffering, and on some nights, that’s the best we can hope for.

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Mark Rabine has lived in the Mission for over 40 years. "What a long strange trip it's been." He has maintained our Covid tracker through most of the pandemic, taking some breaks with his search for the Mission's best fried-chicken sandwich and now its best noodles. When the Warriors make the playoffs, he writes up his take on the games.

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