Beware of the Mission Defecator!

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And you thought the worst thing a Christmas visitor could leave was rocks in your stocking.

At 5:56 this morning, a 42-year-old man on the 1100 block of South Van Ness near 22nd Street awoke to hear noise outside his bedroom, according to police reports. Opening his door, he discovered a 6-0 man, 180 pounds — way too fit to be Santa. And too naked, too. The intruder was walking out of the guest bathroom, wearing only gray boxer shorts and socks.

Upon being spotted, the intruder ran out the door.

The mystery man didn’t take anything — but he sure left a present of the unwelcome sort behind, and we’re not talking about a pink bunny suit. The resident went to check the bathroom, and saw that his morning guest had defecated in the toilet.

“It’s bizarre. It is very bizarre,” says SFPD spokesman Albie Esparza. “The victim has never seen the suspect before. It’s puzzling how they gained access into the residence.”

I told Esparza it seemed less a burglary than a hit and run. He had no comment, not even a ho, ho, ho.

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